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This is a special poem I wrote for my baby....
My Baby
I love you baby with all my heart - I have loved you from the start. Its a lovely day, lets go for a stroll - A stranger passes - their gaze is blank.
What's wrong with you baby? I hear them ask. My heart is ripped from my chest -
And remember with you, I was blessed. Why do they want to know? What difference does it make? They can't understand the pain they cause with a little mistake.
I am told I need to get used to such questions.
You cannot speak, even though you are three. You have little braces on your feet. Your eyes shift and wander, always deep in thought. I can see behind your eyes many racing thoughts. Your food is in a bottle, and often wont stay down. And I take care of it without even a frown. They say these things about you are wrong. But I will help you become strong - If I could change these things about you of course I would.
But I love you the way you are, God knew I would. I love you so much and I always will - Doctors, visits, tests, therapy, my days are filled. You look at me silently with eyes so bright - and so many things you do give me a fright. When your breathing is shallow or gaze is blank - My heart freezes and I start to panic. When you're sick, I hold your little hand and sing - But inside all I can do is scream. Why? The pain, the fevers, all too much to hide - You toss and turn trying to ease the pain inside. I rock you, speak softly, caress and touch I wish I could take it all away so much.
And then there are those who work job without thought- Those who look at you and see dollar signs. Not a little girl who's so far behind. For some, it is funding of your education they don't want to supply - And to those I have to ask, why? With all these challenges why do they fight? Whatever happened to just doing what's right?
But in spite of all the challenges, I have to thank you. Helping you has made me a stronger person, in spirit and mind - Helped me to be patient, humble and kind. Having you is a miracle that has changed my life.
And the people that you meet - Out in the world, in school, and on the street - They will never understand what they see - That this broken little girl means the world to me.
8/27/10 - written for my daughter, Dezirae Reighn Ziemer
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